Thursday, December 16, 2010

What do you value?

What is most important to you in your life? What are your priorities?

These are just a couple of the things I've been asking myself lately. One of the most important aspects of self improvement is the ability to take an internal picture, pull it out and scatter it all over the table so you can get a detailed view of what it is you want to improve before you work to make those improvements. Another important part of self improvement is the ability to internalize values that are important to you. Without values, the substance of any change will never be a permanent change, something that you want to be able to announce to the world through your everyday actions and interactions. Let me give you an example.

I am currently attending class at Cornerstone University in pursuit of my Bachelor's degree in business management. I discovered last week that my two older boys were having their winter holiday program at their school on Tuesday evening.

My wife and I had discussed the importance of my being in class, especially since it is an accelerated program. I got to my school this past Tuesday evening, and had some time before class, so I called my wife. Instead of hearing her voice, my son picked up the phone, and asked me, "Daddy are you coming to our school program tonight?". I had to tell him, "no bud, I have class tonight, I wish I could be there." At that point he started crying, and it nearly brought me to tears.

I had taken a look at my values recently and one of them highest on my list was spending more time with my boys. Hearing how the fact that I wasn't going to be there affected him in that way changed my mind for me. I told my wife when she got on the phone that I was on my way home, and not to tell the boys just yet, I wanted to surprise them. I got home and the boys were ecstatic to see me. I called my professor to let him know the decision I had made, that I would be late for class but told him why and that I would be there by the first break. He very much appreciated the heads up. Then I proceeded to enjoy the holiday program, seeing the smiles on my childrens faces as both of their parents looked on from the audience. They may not remember that their father made it that evening, but I am sure they would have remembered for the rest of their lives if their father had NOT made it.

I left as soon as the program was over, and got to class, participated in discussions and group interactions and got a full class experience in half the time as well. It was well worth it to me that I had taken my value to heart and sacrificed one commitment for another one that I held more dear. My children may never thank me for it, but I know it's importance....that's all that matters.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know first hand how difficult it can be to work full time, attend school, and raise a family. These are the challenges that define us. I think in this situation, you made the right choice. You were able to satisfy everybody.

One thing that may help in the future, is to get your children involved with your college life. You could make a calendar that shows where and when you will be in school, doing homework, or meeting with other class members. If this is posted for your kids to see, they will always know where you are at. they could also check of each day, like a count-down calendar..

Good luck, I wish you nothing but the best.