Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Conduct Report aka Gabriel Dillinger




So I got home from work yesterday to discover that my son Gabriel got a write-up at school for punching another student in the stomach(causing a disturbance) and for stealing something from the teachers desk. My son is not a fighter, but we do often playfight. While trying to get to the bottom of this my wife discovered that he was talking to another boy on the playground who wanted to play fight with him. One thing you need to know about Gabe. He is the most shy 5 year old I have ever known, and he does not have many friends at school. So when a kid walks up and wants to play with him, what do you think he is going to do? That's right...play. Well, I don't know exactly what happened on that count until we speak to the teacher, but I do know that this tendancy to go after 5 year old children as if they were hardened criminals and sentence them to no recess when they are only playfighting(which even kittens do...) seems a little harsh. =)

It seems to me as if there is no such thing as individual attention anymore. If one child does something that fits into the guidelines set forth for said infraction, there they get shoved.

Then comes the stealing part. Admittedly Gabriel has recently learned that he can take something that catches his attention and put it in his pocket, and thus take it home without paying for it. I discovered this last week when he came to me with a pack of gum that I had certainly not paid for. Needless to say, we had a long talk with some crying somewhere in the middle. Kids aren't dumb. They are not born with the knowledge of knowing the difference between right and wrong, they just discover what works. When what works for them is wrong it is a parents job to step in and teach the child.

The accusation regarding "stealing" from the teachers desk is bogus. We were getting ready for school and I noticed he put this little notebook that he got from Grandma Reed in his pocket that morning. He had it out to play with it or write in it and his teacher took it away from him and placed it on her desk. Here is where another thing comes in about Gabe that you need to know to set the story properly. Gabriel has some OCD tendencies. When he gets his mind set on something, he is stubborn as a mule and doesn't stop until he succeeds. This will bode him well later in life, but tends to get him in trouble at this age. Stop right there. I know what you're thinking - and there is no way he gets it from me! =) He decided at some point in the day to go to the desk and get his pad of paper that he got from Grandma Reed back. When he did and the teacher discovered it, he was blamed for stealing something that was his to begin with!

When Gabriel began the school year my wife and I were a little worried that he was not going to be ready. He worked through some issues with the help of his teachers and his brother and has been doing very good in school. He loves to do his homework even though we are having issues getting him to turn it in, and is picking up his numbers and letters very easily. The Conduct Report that was sent home certainly alerted us to the fact that something happened yeserday, but it also rose my hackles in that there was absolutely zero common sense used or even the appearance of attempting to discover exactly what happened and why before sending it out.

What ever happened to "kids will be kids"?

2 comments:

Samantha said...

That is exactly right... I mean I understand that something needed to be done I completley agree but something that actually went in his file when this is the first time this has ever happened. The fighting at least and she says that she did not do this because she is mad but because she wants to help well do you think branding the kid as a fighter and a theif is gonna make it easier on him in
1st grade when the teacher reads the file and says oh this little kid stole and punched another kid in the stomach. I think another step should have been in there may a normal note home and then the conduct report for his permanent file I just think they do it to prove a point even though she loves him to death she is in charge you know.

Anyway thanks for listening.

Sgtmackenzie said...

Turns out, Sam went to the kids conferences a week later and was told by Gabe's teacher that she wishes there were 30 more of him in her class. I wish they would make up their mind....